The Beginning of The End of The Beginning

Tomorrow I’m kicking off my summer racing season with the North Face Endurance Challenge Bear Mountain 50k. After that, I leave New York for good. I’ll spend the summer running the mountains around Boulder, CO; then compete in the White River 50 around Mt. Rainier in Washington. After that, it's down to Dallas, TX – where I’ll begin my post-graduate school career. The summer will be intense and challenging, and that’s exactly how I want it because once I reenter the professional world, I’m accepting that my growth stage, at least as a runner, is over. I’ll begin a new phase that will be less about ambition and more about realization. My running will change from an exercise in dreaming about what I could be to exploiting what I actually am.

Over the last 9 years, since I went from a pudgy high school senior to manic endurance runner, I’ve never been able to keep up with my ambitions. When I stepped on my first treadmill, I anxiously anticipated the day I could last more than 20 minutes. When I finished my first 10K, my thoughts immediately turned to the next hurdle: a 15k. Half Marathons followed, then eventually, the Marathon. Once I entered the ‘Ultra’ category, however, I felt satisfied. While there is still room for me to progress in terms of distance, I feel reasonably satisfied that my life won’t be incomplete if I never finish a 100 miler. Accomplishing myself at the 50 mile distance should be enough to tide my appetite.

Me and my Dad after my first organized race, the LMU 10k in April, 2003

After the White River 50 in late July, I’m hanging up the Ultra boots (at least for a while), to reprioritize and focus on my new job. If I can redirect the energy, sacrifice, and enthusiasm I’ve channeled into my running, I’m confident I’ll succeed just as much professionally as I have athletically. Without bogging one down with too many details, I won’t be able to approach my new career half-heartedly. That means no more obsessing about getting enough sleep before my next workout; no more distractions from my work responsibilities to obsess about my fitness and preparation; and more early mornings filled with emails instead of speed work. With less time and energy for my running, I doubt I’ll be able to train properly for a Half Marathon, let alone any Ultras. Never before have I willingly taken such a step backwards in my running career.

Running the Lost Dutchman Half Marathon in February, 2009

Instead, my racing and running will be defined by what is possible after I meet my other priorities; while in the past the converse has been true. Maybe I’ll refocus on 10Ks and 5Ks to build my speed, or maybe I’ll just run Halfs at a recreational pace. I don’t know the outcome now, but I do know things will change.

After the Niagara Falls International Marathon in November, 2010 - the start of a great Winter of racing

So now, I’m starting the beginning of the end of the first phase in my running lifetime. These last 9 years have been the opening act. I have no idea what will happen in the next phase, but there’s no utility in fretting about that now. Instead, I’m paying attention to running a good 50K tomorrow at Bear Mountain, which will give me a good expectation of what I’ll be capable of later in the Summer at the White River 50 Miler – the closing scene on the beginning of my life as a runner.

-John